2023

2023. Can't drill into a wall, doesn't know where the pipes are or how to turn off the water, or how to cut the brambles that reach out from deep within the bushes like the frantic, grabbing hands of a Blackpool magician, can't drive up a hill so steep - has never driven a car alone ever at all, actually. The woman who owned my house told me you can go on some great hikes here, "but not in Converse." She spat the words. Converse means people who have always lived in the city and have never driven a car and get scared of the noises at night. It means fans of The Strokes. To my horror I remember how I once had a pair of Converse, but they made my feet too hot. So I am all of this and more, but less because 'Last Night' sounds like Vic and Bob's club singer covering Chaz and Dave, and it's about time someone said it. Kurt Cobain! I can't imagine him climbing a mountain, but how dare anyone say he could not.   

The neighbours tell me about the creatures. Foxes, wolves, boar, animals with -- wild gesticulation to the head, a duck that is black with a turquoise beak that only lives on swamps, snakes -- vipers (small, black, stamp the ground and they'll run away, slither!), a ferret that drinks blood. A vampire ferret.    

They tell me about the pine between our houses. The pine has wide, shallow roots. Pines are prone to falling. The woman who owned my house was considering felling the pine, but she had a dream, the neighbours said. She said the pine spoke to her. It was protecting her.  "The pine is dangerous. You should cut the pine," they said to her.  She didn't cut the pine.    

Later, I rise to 1500 metres in pathetic shoes and look down towards the house. I drive up the hill now in the Panda that was her husband's and I know how to turn off the water, but for that one tap down the bottom of the garden.     This month, she came back to collect some wine from the cellar. It was difficult for her to return to the house without him. She gave me 10 bottles. The woman who owned my house is a very kind lady even if, maybe, she doesnt think I can do it. Or maybe she does now.   

I will cut the pine.



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